she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
