I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
