R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
