Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
