I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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