No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Randomize
