just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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