its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
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