does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
