Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
