evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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