I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
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He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
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You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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