He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
