Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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