i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Oh god it's open bar.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
