I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Holy shit dude........stairs
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
