he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
