What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
