Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
