All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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