I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm gonna fight the coyote
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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