I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Randomize
