Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
