Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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