So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
