I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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