so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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