Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
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