yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
try to milk me bitch
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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