Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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