so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize