No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
