if you like me you must not know who I am
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
