i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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