theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize