During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
