Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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