Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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