you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Can I color on your dick again?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
