Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
