she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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