big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
