The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
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