it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
