Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
