hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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