watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
