I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
