So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
