just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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