im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
