awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
there's paper in my vomit.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
