Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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