I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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