He is an equal opportunity slut.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
