Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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