i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
