Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
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