so that wasnt chicken after all
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
