He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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