I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
