Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
