Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
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Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i drank out of a bidet.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
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